March Slice of Life No. 27.
“If food doesn’t go bad, it’s not good for you.”
That is what the Sejoyia Foods people say.
They also say they have “real cookies for real humans.” That their cookies are “not your grandma’s cookies. No offense to your grandma.” They claim their cookies have “honest ingredients.” [I’m wondering what would be an example of a dishonest ingredient.] They encourage us to “eat cookies, be happy.” [I can do that.] But I’m not writing about their cookies. I’ve not eaten any of their cookies, and I don’t think I should write about something I’ve not tried.
I’ve tried one of their veggie snacks, their “wonderfully raw gourmet” Brussels sprout snack.
It seems that the Brussels sprout –edible bud, member of the cabbages– is taking its rightful place alongside King Kale in nutritional snacks. Unusual flavor combinations in these snacking clumps with an added bit of zing had me reaching for another. [I just can’t call them chips even if the Sejoyia people do.] And I don’t even like Brussels sprouts.
As I munched a clump, I began reading the package. And being the word person that I am, I was intrigued.
Across the very top of the bag, I’m told to “chow down good” because I’m sure to “love at first byte.”
I also learn that these clumps are organic, gluten free, non GMO, live food [ Really? ] and vegan. Who could ask for anything more?
Then, I wonder what I should call these snacking clumps.
Are they
Chili Pumpkin Seed Crunch?
Or perhaps
Brussel Bytes?
That is no mistake. It is how they spell it: Brussel. [I wonder did they knowingly coin that name or was it the result of a spelling error? ]
Or maybe
Chili Pumpkin Seed Crunch Brussel Bytes?
[Wow! That is a mouthful. (Pun intended) ]
At the bottom of the package, I discover there’s also kale in these snacking clumps. And I find another possible name: “Brussel & Kale Crunch.”
Remember the “love at first byte” from the top of the bag? Well, at the bottom of the bag, I read that this is the “snack of chili pumpkin love.” [Sounds like a autumn romance.]
I think there is a poem lurking in all those words, in those phrases. Perhaps on another day I will find it. Right now, I’m reaching for another clump. And thinking about those “real cookies for real humans.”
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Hilarious and delightful. I’m right there with you on the crazy marketing language. And I recently discovered dried kale snacks, although I cannot recall the clever name of them. But the packaging looks like one of your photos…
Thanks!
I ate some more of the Brussel Bytes today and I won’t get them again because I really do not like Brussels sprouts. I do like kale, and I have some that is kale with red bell peppers, sunflower seeds and cashews. I do like it. It is called “Brad’s Crunchy Kale Vampire Killer.” The slogan on it is “snack with a purpose.” LOL
Reading this was fun. Thanks Alice
Thanks, Luke, for stopping by. I visited your site: https://www.kemsleycosnacks.co.uk/the-beginning read about your couscrisps. Very interesting. I wish you well.
These are something new to me. I admit, my taste in snacks leans toward the sweet and unhealthy variety. Maybe it is time to switch.
“I’m wondering what would be an example of a dishonest ingredient.” You had me laughing so badly at this! I wonder too.
Snacks are a treat, a healthy snack = happiness. However, I don’t think anything with clump in the name sounds too appetizing. I enjoyed your musing of the possible names and the word choice on the bag. Really, dishonest ingredients? Ha, ha!
I feel a poem coming… I am moving more slowly to strange new combinations… but moving away from products with lots of ingredients… that makes sense to me…
Hahaha – I’d love to see the poem from this packaging. Since we regularly mock what my husband calls “hipster food,” this slice made me laugh. I loved the assonance in “I munched a clump” and your ongoing interior commentary. Waiting for that poem…
This slice was entertaining but also got me thinking about what we eat. I also can’t help but entertain concerns about all the extra packaging to make veggies more enticing.
So much. You are much healthier than me. The closest I venture to this snack is dried snap peas, love an actual Brussels sprout.
Agreed with Barbara above. To add on, did you know that in the EU they aren’t allowed to label things “superfood?” I think this is a positive thing as it forces people into doing research on so called super foods rather than relying heavily on marketing and packaging to do the thinking for them.
The snack industry has definitely entered a new era, taking us along with it. Tonight my daughter and I shared a bag of quinoa chips. I wonder what we’ll learn about these snacks in a couple of years! Your slice was fun today.