SOL25-1104
Photo: From our beach house deck, Rockaway Beach, Oregon, Spring 2025.
There’s something unforgettably spell-binding about it all . . .
Sky evanescing into the endless sea
Spray from foamy waves cresting and crashing
Surf relentlessly roaring
Sea gulls squawking above
Shells, broken and scattered
Seaweed and driftwood
Sand dunes covered by
Sea grasses waving to and fro
Salt in the air
. . . .and all of it set in the rhythm of tides–high, low, and high again
******
Ahhh!
Whether it rains or shines,
the sea is good for my soul,
better than any medicine!
I never have enough.
I never tire of it.
Writing about my writing.
My “slice” started as a free writing list. I wrote the free writing list just because I was feeling the draw of the coast, because I was reminiscing things that I love about the coast, because I was looking at a picture I had taken of the beach last spring. So I wrote. Each line started with the word “the.”
A few days later, I decided to make my free writing list into a “slice of life.” I read it out loud several times to see if it would work. First, I dropped “the” from each line. Now the list looked better to my eye and sounded better to my ears. It began to take on the form of a free verse poem.
Then I noticed the alliteration that overflowed my lines. (I’m still pondering the significance of so many coast words beginning with /s/.) I thought I’d work to begin each line with /s/, so I played with word order. I also changed a couple line breaks, rearranged a few lines, and worked on word choice. I was excited about my special word find — “evanescing.” So much better than “fading.” I re-read the list and liked it.
But something was lacking. It had no tone; it set no mood. And it needed an introductory thought and a concluding thought. I decided to use the craft move of bookending. I added an opening line and a closing line to set the tone, to serve as bookends wrapping around the list and tying it together. Though distinct, the two lines had to be connected in thought and perhaps with punctuation; hence, I chose to use an ellipsis at the end of the first line and at the beginning of the final line.
Finally, I wanted my slice of life to be more than a scene. So I wrote a few lines expressing my emotional response every time I stand on the deck of our beach rental overlooking the sand and sea.
Postscript: Why the title “Rockaway?” Our beach rental is in Rockaway Beach.
Thank you Two Writing Teachers
for hosting Slice of Life Tuesday Challenge
where Alice Nine teaches language lessons that
Empower Students to Read and Write
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Alice,
Fabulous photo and poem!
Thank you for this immersion into the sights and sounds of the sea– more s-words.
Thanks also for the behind the scenes peak at your process. I loved hearing about your revision, Is it okay if I share your post with a friend who is teaching middle school creative writing and working to get her students to focus on revision?
You’ve inspired me to think more about my revision process and, possibly, to write a post where I not only share my writing, but reflect on it.
Thanks!
Please feel free to share. I first got started writing about my writing because I was teaching writing workshops which included in the classroom modeling. In my lessons, I modeled writing and talked my thinking as I brainstormed, drafted, revised, etc. That led to me prepping by writing the whole piece and making notes of my thinking and processing, and then replicating it as students watched. Of course we did small chunks at a time. Over the years, I find that I enjoy the “writing about my writing” part as much as I do the writing. Try it! I hope to see a “writing about my writing” segment on one of your posts. BTW, lots of my posts have a “writing about my writing” segment. Some posts have an “In my classroom” segment.
You might like this post: https://alicenine.net/crafting-without-words/ and https://alicenine.net/without-words/ Use the hashtag “writing about my writing” in the right sidebar to see more posts with that segment.
Love the writing. Especially love the photo. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for visiting and commenting.
I like how you took us through your process of coming up with this final piece. There is power and beauty in the sea even when it is raging. It can be awe inspiring.
I’m hoping we can make a quick drive to the coast on Thursday to see the king tides… the surf will be so awesome. During high king tides it is dangerous to even walk on the beach… and to stand on some of the rocks.
I live just to the south. You need no explanation of inspiration! I love the phrase, “…set in the rhythm of tides.” “It forever calls to me, too,” never far from the sea, “Miss Pacific,” no matter where I am. Thanks for this; I need a beach walk today.
Are you getting king tides this week? We are hoping to make a drive to the coast on Thursday to see the surf.
Yes, these are the first of the three times projected, but last weekend it was a rock-and-roll show, too. Living here affords me a ringside seat. I am so lucky!
I love the way you share your thinking through your process. And I can’t help mentioning – – that is one FABULOUS photo, too! What a lovely place to write.
It was a beautiful day… the waves were really big as the tide was coming in. I took a number of pictures trying to capture the spray as the waves crested. The spray was so high and so visible. And the water was so green, which is not common.
I read the poem and delighted in all the movement I was feeling as I read. I thought to myself, such great word choices! Then I loved reading your reflection and step by step how this writing came about. Often, I draft and revise and just do things but not thinking WHY. You masterfully describe your craft moves in a way that isn’t boring but motivating to this reader. Finally, that photo! I visit East Coast beaches and have never seen such greens when standing at the Atlantic Ocean. Loved everything about your slice. Thanks for sharing!
I took the photo after some stormy weather because the spray was so high and showed up so well and the water was green. We usually don’t have green waters… they can be very, very blue or gray… so this photo is unique.
The sea speaks to me as well. Your post (picture, poem and prose) is just beautiful and I really appreciate you sharing your process as well. It makes me think more about how I might more thoughtfully attend to my own. Your revisions are so unobtrusively effective! Your words reminded me of a line I just read that was quoted from a Mary Oliver poem, “Eventually tides will be the only calendar you believe in.” They also reminded me that I need to look up that poem and I need to travel to the shore…soon. Thank you.
That is a great quote from Mary Oliver. I always feel like my body rhythms and my body calendar gets reset in a very good way when I stand on the shore.
I love the ocean so much. Thank you for taking me to the beach through your words. I love the author’s note that follows the poem. What a valuable metacognitive analysis of how this writing came together so beautifully and seemingly seamlessly.
Thank you, Stephanie. I started “writing about my writing” a number of years ago. It not only makes me reflect at the end of writing, but it also has developed my reflections as I write. I actually enjoy doing it now… and when I don’t have much to reflect on, I know my piece is far from finished.